Preparing For Dinner Parties When Stoned...

Firstly, would advise all caution when embarking on preperation for a dinner party whilst stoned. All sorts of profound thoughts go through your head when chopping/peeling veggies. Just consider the stages of the high:-
1. Coming up - all floaty and light headed with those lovely little euphoric head-rushes mixed with sharp knives could be disastrous.
2. The giggles - it's ok when you're alone/in the presence of someone else who's stoned, but not recommended if the other party/ies is straight. Try explaining what's so funny about a bunch of veggies!
3. The horny stage - all I'm saying on this one is, if you're serving carrots/parsnips/cucumbers/courgettes, buy ready prepared!
4. The philosophical stage - the life/world changing things that go through your mind have a habit of distracting you from the job in hand, and you're not worried in the least how much dinner will be delayed, cos let's face it, you're making cosmic discoveries/decisions here!
5. The paranoid stage- again causes major delays cos you keep wondering if anyone will bother to turn up, why they're coming anyway and what they'll say about you/your cooking/etc......
So, the best course of action is to plan well in advance....If you know you intend to get stoned, buy all the veg/yorkshire pud/dessert etc., ready prepared. Sort it all out before having your joint. Saves a lot of time and trouble!