Bare Facts (was babybear3333)

A (usually) lighthearted and amusing outlook on the real happenings (and vivid imagination) in the day to day life of a walking disaster area/accident waiting to happen/prone to 'blonde' moments 40 something single female...:)

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Hogs dinner?

This has got to be up there with the 'grocery home shopping clangers' of the year awards...

As part of my habit of clinging on to the last vestiges of my fiercely fought for and won independence, I use grocery home shopping so I don't often need to ask anyone to do it for me. I loathe shopping anyway, so not all bad you might think...

WRONG!!!

I flit from site to site, three here that deliver, in the hope that maybe, just maybe, one of them will get it right. ALL of the order right...

I'm a 'love Sunday roast' kind of gal and this week I was perusing Tesco online and fancied a bit of pork (sniggering in the back will get you a blog entry :P). I've also had an insane craving for fresh sprouts for three weeks. Having got fed up with the other two supermarkets consistently depriving me of such, I chose Tesco this week...

Oh dear...

They had pork leg on half price so I clicked for a kilo and my sprouts, as well as the rest of my usuals; the most important of which are my 'Saturday slob in front of inane TV munchies', Sunday dinner stuff, wine and ciggies; not necessarily in that order ;)

Just taken delivery of said order. The driver knocked the door waving my invoice and said that there were a few substitutes, so I read those and there were no sprouts and they'd bloomin' substituted them with sliced runner beans which I detest!

Nevermind thought me, everything else must be ok...

Oh was I wrong...

The last crate had my pork in it but there must surely have been a mistake 'cos it was half an e'fing pig! I checked the invoice and straight away pointed to the driver that I'd only ordered ONE kilo. He agreed and we both looked at the pig again. I explained that the meat was for tomorrow so he got on his phone and asked if another delivery driver could bring me a realistically sized joint tomorrow along with my AWOL sprouts. "No" was the answer 'cos they haven't got drivers in my area tomorrow. The store said they'd charge me for a kilo and I could keep the pig. WTF am I going to do with an f'ing pig!!!

The driver unpacked the crates, apologised for the tenth time and left me with the pig...

I have difficulty picking up a packet of tissues at the best of times so getting my shopping from hall to kitchen takes time especially when I'm 'running' the gauntlet of the moggies let loose from hell (I was going to say hounds but that's taking artistic licence too far even for me)...

The last item was the pig. I looked at it and I swear it looked back at me smirking as if to say "you aint gonna get me in the fridge"! Well, guess what? This lady put her crutch down, cleared the bottom shelf of the fridge, grabbed a towel and went back to the insolent pig...

Mr piggy now knows not to mess with a woman on a mission!

Am so glad no one saw me wrestling with it 'cos it would have made great You Tube viewing!

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