The Big GR... or is it?

A new position for Georgie boy?... The Grim Reaper... 

That job has been filled forever and already has an eternal incumbent... Doesn't it?

In a secret interview today both the Big GR (Grim Reaper) and Hades strongly denied having any connection to the CONDEMS, saying "We pride ourselves in the service we deliver our customers and would urge caution when dealing with this bunch of soulless persons..." Our reporter did over hear a conversation between the two discussing the way in which the CONDEMS are even trying to privatise death...

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/04/17/government-death-date-estimate-pensions_n_5164711.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cuk%7Cdl5%7Csec1_lnk1%26pLid%3D258154

In a separate interview Charon (the Ferryman) said he is working to rule amidst rumours that IDSIOT is planning to abolish the crossing fees for anyone dying and having the cheek to not be a millionaire... Obviously, this will have a devastating impact on his income and 'livelihood' (not sure which category to put him in? Dead or alive?) and will result in a backlog of dead people meaning that actual dead people will have to earn their two coins before they can actually be actually dead... ATTOSsers, Crapita and the others will, obviously, then declare the dead but un dead fit for work...

 Another twist in this hellish story is that the CONDEMS manifesto for the 2015 general election is rumoured to contain their intentions to put the crossing out for tender to private ferry companies...

It is also allegedly rumoured, allegedly, that former Culture Secretary Maria Miller was allegedly planning to force dead people to exercise and take up sport by making them swim the river Styx...